'Big River'.

I'm Bored.

My Nails Are Chipped And Broken.

I'm Tired.

And I'm Bored.

What I Make, I Hate.

It Needs Something.

There's Soo Many People Making Extraordinary Things.

I've Gotta Up My Game.

My Bedroom Is Freezing But I Feel Weird With The Window Closed.

Then There's That Moment When You Pull Your Duvet Up And It's Like Ice, 

And For That Moment It's Almost Like You'll Never Be Warm Again.

But Then You Do The 'Cold Bed Wriggle And Shake'.

And Your Feet Start To Mildly Radiate Some Warmth.

Well For Me At Least.

Then Mid Sleep You Wake Up Instantly Regretting Your Sensible Pijamas.

If Only I Could Connect My Mind To A Screen.

There's Things That I Think,

That Others Will Never See.

Not Because I Don't Want Them To,

But Because I Can't Put It On Paper,

Or Explain It While Sounding Sane.

So If There's Balls Of Steel & Hearts Of Glass,

What Is Your Mind?

And Does It Fit? Or Relate To Those Things?

Does It Even Need To?

You Can Be Brave And Not Stop To Think First.

Or Give Your Ticker Away Then Only Remember Your Mind Once It's Shattered.

Maybe.

I Feel Like If I Don't Write This Crap Down I'll Forget It,

But It Would Still Take Space Up In My Mind.

Or Hand Around Like Bubble Gum If You Swallow It.

A Great Woman Once Said,

'If You're Gonna Pose, You Have To Mean It'.

Auntie Pat That Was, She's A Legend.

All I Want Is:

A New Dress,

New Shoes,

Something Shiny,

New War Paint,

A New Hairdo, 

 New Perfume,

Fancy Nails,

A Bigger Bust,

Slimmer Waist,

Lovely Legs And

A Flashy Smile.

But They're Not What I Need.

Far From It.

Sometimes I Forget The Difference.

As I'm Sure Most Of Us Do.

Come On, Get Down Off Your High Horse.

You Don't Have To Justify Anything To Me.

But What I Need Is A Night With Some Friends And The Stars.

An Early Morning Drive With The Window Open.

Washing My Car With No Shoes On.

Cycling Along The Seaside With My Music On.

And A Sit On The Beach With My Sketchbook.

Just Because I Can. xXx

'Taking The Long Way Round.'

To Me It Would Seem That I Need To Invest In You.
To Work At It.
I'm Not Fond Of My Life's Canvas Becoming Infested With Bitter, Empty, Pointless, Poisons.
Instead I Need To Invest In Something Worth It.
But What's It?
'That's About As Good As It Gets.'
'That's Worth It's Weight In Gold'
'Because You're Worth It'.
Worth?
Hmm.
Debatable Is My New Favourite Word.
Because Lately I Can't See Any Existence Of A 'Level Playing Field'.
Right? Wrong?
Bollocks.
You've Got The Preachers Preaching Something,
While The 'Anti Preachers' Are Preaching Something Back To The Preachers,
Who Were Subsequently Preaching To The 'Anti Preachers' About Their Right To Preach,
While The 'Anti Preachers' Defend Their Right To, Um... Preach.
Makes Sense, Right?
I Know What I Mean In My Head.
What My Voice Box Says Or My Fat Fingers Type,
Could Be Another Matter.
We're All So Desperate For Attention,
To Be Noticed.
Have You Ever Thought That The One You May Never Have Noticed,
May Be The Person Who's Noticing You?
We Want To Stand Out.
So Stop Trying To Fit In With The Out Crowd.
Crowd = Crowded.
There's Too Many.
Be You, It's The One Thing No One Else Can Be.
I Love Waking Up In A Certain Tent,
At Certain Events.
Early Enough To Be Tired For The Rest Of The Day,
But Just In Time To See The Sun Working It's Magic While Most People Miss It.
Zipping Open My Door And Wrapping It Up Just Enough To Let That Lovely Breeze In.
Then Sit With My Feet In The Sun,
Doing My Make Up Trying To Interpret 'The Natural Look/Bed Head' Combo.
Until I Can Be Bothered To Fufill My Glam Mission For The Day.
Then Sit With My Music On, Book Open.
Then Wait For Other Early Risers To Make An Appearance.
This Weekend I Felt Like A Different Person.
I Wanted To Go Out, Meet New People.
Stay Out Late, Get Lost, Make Friends.
And Those Stupid Questions Never Popped Into My Head.
'I Can't Do That What Will They Think Of Me'
'What If They Don't Like Me'
Etc.
But For Once I Thought 'Screw It'.
I Felt Like Owning It.
Maybe Abit Fearless.
What A Maverick, Ay?
Either Way My Silly Mumblings Mean Something To Me.
I Fit Into A Dress I Bought 2 Years Ago.
I Dolled Up.
Introduced Myself To Strangers.
Went Off Alone, Got Lost.
But I Still Went Off Alone And Met New People.
Got In Late.
But I Felt Brilliant.
New Friends And Old.
Fantastic.
I Don't Know If To Be On A Hight Because It Was Ace.
Or Low Because It's Over.
My Heart Hurts So Bad Because I Was Looking Forward To It For SO Long.
It Was So Very Much Worth It. xXx

'Magpies Stole My Diamonds, This Bastard World's Stealing My Dream'.

I Can't Settle.

Settling Means Slowing To A Halt.

For Now Anyways.

I Just Don't Have The Time For Now.

Friends And Family Mostly Settled And Happy, That's Great.

It's Right For Them.

But Not For Me.

There's Too Much To Do And Not Enough Time.

The Country's A Joke.

And Not Many See The Punchline Coming.

I Took The Dive, And So Far I Haven't Been Dragged Down.

I Started My Business.

Here's The Shameless Plug.

www.facebook.com/cjmagpiesco

It May Not Be Much Right Now,

But It's Mine.

I Can't Wait For Bigger Things.

Better Things.

The Stupid Thing Is That This Silly World Completely Revolves Around Money.

I Can't Get Stuff Done Because Of The Lack Of It.

When I'm Not Working, I'm Crafting.

When I'm Not Crafting I'm Applying For Jobs.

All Surrounded By Housework. 

Bitch, Bitch, Moan, Moan.

Writing It Won't Change My Current Sittuation.

But It Don't 'Arf Make Me Feel Better.

People With Stupid Wise Words Are Starting To Piss Me Off.

Uh-Oh I Hear The Hypocrite Sirens Blaring.

But Seriously. 

If I Wanted Wisdom, I'd Have Gone To A Wizard.

People Who've Got It Good Can't Tell The Grafters The Ways Of The World.

And Vice Versa.

Truth Is You Don't Know What Goes On Behind Closed Doors Or Glassy Eyes.

Dream, Dreamer, Dreamy, To Dream.

Why Not?

I Find A Dream Is Most Often A Damn Sight Better Than What This Reality Lark Has To Offer Most Of The Time.

I Keep Having These Heart Stopping Moments Where I Remember How Fucked It All Is.

It Makes My Insides Ache.

Then I See Something Shiny,

Panic Overted.

I Have Too Much To Give, Too Many I Care About, Too Much I Do For What?

Exactly, I Have No Idea What I'm Doing And Why.

Apart From I Know How Too Much I Have To Give.

Which Is Fine Because It's Going To Be Great.

But To Get Over Feeling So Deflated And Unappreciated.

Isn't So Great.

But A Few Kind Words Of Reassurance From A Best Friend,

Puts A Smile On My Face.

As Does The Thought Of Reunions Possibly Coming Soon!

It's Mad To Love People So Far Away,

To Miss Them So Much It Hurts.

'Absence Makes The Heart Grow Fond...'

Bullshit, It's Makes It A Pain In The Right Royal Behind.

Above All The Mumbo Jumbo.

I Want To Get Away, 

I Want My Friends.

I Want Laughter,

I Want Long Conversations.

I Need Inspiration.

Peace Out. xXx